Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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