Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
