R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
