hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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