bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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