Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
