sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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