I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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