I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
