i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa