dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
MIDGETS
????
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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