Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
