Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to