He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
