haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You dont lie about slip and slides
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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