he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
