you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
