Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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