Quick, to the slutcave!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
