Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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