the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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