she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
