I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's Friday. Sex?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
