Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
