I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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