i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
