Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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