Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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