the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
PANTIES FOUND
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