dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
