So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
