So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
