summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
