Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
