Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Couch. On fire.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
