He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
