I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
