I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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