return my video game
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
