the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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