Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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