Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
