sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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