I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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