we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
there is glitter all over my balls
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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