are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
