Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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