Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
why do cheetos always look like penises
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.