apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.