I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
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Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
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Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs