We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes