I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.