How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
