Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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