I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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