I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
