I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
