Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
