in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize