I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
