sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
