i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
