You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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