I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
