Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
