Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
