ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
