$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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