Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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