no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize
