Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
