Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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