Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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