We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
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I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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