p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
