everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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